Apathy; the result of caring too much.
- whenever I feel empty; (R.N.)
to be wide-awake
Looks like you and I are in a very similar place. First, I’d like to say that you aren’t bound by your apathy, and it only has the control you give to it. In your apathy, you still cared enough to seek encouragement. There is comfort in seeing the evident presence of the spirit in both of our lives—that despite our lack of passion, He has not abandoned us—He is near, He desires for us to engage Him, and He is willing to bring us out of the rut we’ve dug for ourselves.
My first point of encouragement is to not overcomplicate the matter. Apathy is a state of mind, and it is changeable. Apathy is not some barrier that can’t be dealt with. I think the first thing me must realize is the source of our apathy. In regard to faith, being apathetic is the result of not understanding the reality of God’s love. Apathy is a lack of intrigue, interest, or concern—it is indifference. I think it’s impossible to be indifferent if we grasp the truth of God’s reality and the love He has towards us.
So not only should we not make apathy out to be more complex than it is, we also need to be careful to not assume what God’s attitude towards us in this season is. In my experience, it seems that as soon as I feel compelled to lean in and shake off the stagnancy I’m in, I start to feel overwhelmed with how far I’ve distanced myself from God, and I sink back into the rut because laziness appeals far more than attempting to fix or change myself. Once you camp out in the apathy for a while, you realize that you never get used to it… the numbness and detachment never sucks any less, but inaction is always easier than what we believe the alternative is.
In hopes to move out of this place of apathy, we have to first acknowledge how our complacency has robbed us of joy, peace, and satisfaction—all products of intimacy with Christ. This is a good starting point, but if you’re anything like me, there’s this daunting anxiety that begins to plague you when you start considering how exactly you can “get back” to that time prior to the apathy. You start trying to figure out how far you’ll have to back track in order to “pick back up from where you left off.” This is an unbiblical perspective. To think that we have to back track would mean that our efforts would be spent trying to rewind and erase the previous weeks/months you’ve “wasted.” They’re only wasted if you don’t invite God into them. You don’t have to shake off the apathy. I don’t even know how that’s feasible. Instead, you ask the Lord—whose presence is more powerful and evasive than the condition of your emotions, and you ask Him to reveal Himself to you. You ask Him to soften your heart and to enlighten your mind to see His truth with clarity and insight so you can remember His beauty and encounter His love again. His love isn’t a concept where you’ve got to psych yourself out first so you can believe it. His love is a reality to be encountered and received, and this is what will pull you out of apathy. Because apathy is delusional. It looks at something, but doesn’t see it. It is like showing up to a party convinced you’re not going to have fun. It’s the stubborn attitude of being present, but refusing to participate. So ask Him to show you, ask Him to break down the walls you’ve built up and ask Him to strip you of your complacency. Ask Him to carve out the indifference and fill you with a heightened awareness of His love. Ask Him to welcome you into the satisfaction you were intended to live in due to the work of Christ.
When you confess the reality of your spiritual condition, you are admitting where you are. When our intimacy with God has faded, I think we lose sight of how and why He pursues us, so we just rather He not. Think of when Adam and Eve sinned in the garden and they hid. Do you remember what God did? He called out, “Where are you?” Certainly, God knew where they were, but we can’t proceed without admitting our current condition. God didn’t expect them to back track or fix themselves up before He reconciled Himself to them. Our God does is not one who promotes delusion, pretense, or hiding—all of which are contrary to the freedom he calls us into. We think our apathy is a neutral state, but if anything isn’t furthering our intimacy with God, it is captivity. God isn’t passive—He isn’t going to pretend that nothing is wrong. When we are apathetic, something is flawed in our perception of who He is, and He wants to fix that, so when He calls out to you, “where are you?” don’t ignore Him. Just answer, “In a place of apathy.” The word says, “even when we aren’t faithful, He is faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.” If you’ll ask Him to, He’ll come get you. He knows where you are, and He isn’t apathetic about it at all.
I love how C. S. Lewis asks why we are so content to make mud-pies when we’ve been called to a vacation at sea. I think the truth is that we get to a point where we stop believing that the sea exists. We go so long without seeing the ocean that we doubt it’s reality, and don’t care enough to convince ourselves otherwise. But there’s no excuse for us to remain apathetic when all we have to do is admit where we are—admit that the numbness doesn’t feel as good as satisfaction—and we don’t know how to get out of it, but we trust Him, and need Him to come pull us out of this mud pit. He’s doesn’t want us to stay in this place anymore than we want to, so just ask Him to intervene, and He will. He is a good God, and fixing your brokenness before going back to Him was never part of the deal. He has paid the price of reconciliation, and He will continue to carry out that ministry in our lives as long as we humble ourselves and ask.
"The scariest part
- I don’t like feeling numb but I guess it’s better than feeling anything at all. (via melxnch0ly)
is the realization that you have lost yourself
sinking in as you lay awake at 2am
because you lost the ability to sleep
and you can’t even cry
because you don’t even care."
Start caring and get motivated!
Sorry that’s my personality talking right there…
A good first step would be to pray for God to change your heart. He’s good at that.
A good second step would be to pay more attention to what is filling up your heart and mind. What do you read? What do you listen to? What friends do you have close to you?
Get rid of the bad and seek out more of the good.
Less listening to apathetic people, more reading the Word of God.
Less gossip reading and more Godly relationships.
Figure out where dirty water is getting in and plug the holes. Increase the pressure of that which is pure, holy, right, honorable and trustworthy.
Eventually you’ll have a pure flow in and out.
"Even when I try to stir myself up, I just get irritated because I can’t make anything come out. And in the middle of the night I lie here thinking about all this. If I don’t get back on track somehow, I’m dead, that’s the sense I get. There isn’t a single strong emotion inside me."- Banana Yoshimoto (via clairely-lostmymind)
The essence of Christianity is hope. Hope that we can be clean, new, righteous, comforted, joyous, safe. And this message is offensive to those that believe change is not possible. To those that believe that things will always be the same. If you are stuck in depression, illness, apathy,…
Where would we walk? Where would we run? If we could stay all day in the sun? Just you and me, and I could be part of your world.
girl: i love you
me: welcome to the club
girl: *gets offended and walks away*
me: …u were the first member
like if u cried